I had not planned to walk outside last night to look at the moon. My friends will think that an odd statement coming from someone who lives by the ebb & tide of such things. But I have been in a pretty deep funk over how life’s been going lately and I didn’t even feel like stepping outside. For the past few weeks I have been experiencing this intense, for lack of a better word, buzzing in my body but because I did not know what it was I labeled it as anxiety. When I remembered to do my deep breathing and sit in meditation I would find that it was not anxiety at all but rather felt like I had been plugged into a energy source that was extremely powerful and recharging me way beyond anything I’ve ever experienced before. When in meditation I could actually see a bright light surrounding my skeletal system and even hear a light buzz. But, I have felt a bit jaded lately about such things, so I decided I just needed to calm myself down and have more discipline in my meditations.
All day I had been feeling this ‘pulling’ sensation in my heart area and thought to myself “what is going on?” And so last night, because of all the body buzzing and heart pulling, I was wide awake. It was hard to ignore the full moon light seeping through my window but I was not having any of it and was determined to stay in my little cocoon. At the moment I am reading three books at the same time so I picked up the book my friend Steve recommended called; ‘Journey of Souls.’ and set my sights on finishing it.
As I am reading I can feel the buzzing in my body starting to amp up. Then I feel this feeling in my chest begins to increase as if my heart is pushing forward against my chest. I tried to ignore it and kept on reading but it finally got so intense I had absolutely no choice but to walk outside into moonlight. I literally felt as if I was being pulled, very rapidly now, out the door. I managed to grab an amulet of moonstone and garnets that I wear during ceremonies and pulled it over my head as I glided outside my robe loosely over my shoulders. It was pitch black out except for the moon. I could feel my body vibrating faster and faster as I stepped out and faced this beautiful Goddess of light. Not a sound could be heard except the beating of my heart now happy to have the moonlight caressing it. My face suddenly broke into a big smile and with my eyes glued to the moon I became entranced and began to sing. It surprised me the immensity of the joy that I felt and the song that so easily poured from my lips for this powerful being of light. Standing there in the dark I allowed the robe to slip from my shoulders while every cell of my being celebrated being permeated by this powerful, powerful energy. My spirit filled with peace for the first time in months and I lovingly laughed at myself for being so fearful and not understanding how to wield this new & immense energy of love and transformation that is coming into the earth right now. I stood there a long time with my arms spread open and my beautiful moon and garnet amulet glowing on my chest while the Moonlight pulsated through me. I continued to sing, swirl around and even do a little dance as my smile grew bigger and bigger and my heart released its fear.
I walked back in the house with a full and open-heart so very grateful to be alive at this time on the planet. Thank you God, thank you life, for shining so brightly and singing so loudly that I had no choice but to sing my song, bear my soul and dance my dance for you.
Life for me does not look or feel anything like I thought it would at this point yet it is everything I have hoped for. Never before have I felt such a powerful and consistent energy of change running through my life, the lives of those around me and on this incredible planet. Look around and there can be no doubt of the amazingness taking place in the world today.
I really love teaching and learning more about the energy that connects us all. Some call it God, Buddha, Goddess, Shiva, Source; Light…- so many beautiful names. For me the words are interchangeable but the Source of this Magnificent Power is the same. Yes, there are amazing changes happening in the world and through the incredible communication we have available we can all see how deeply connected our lives are. At times these changes can look a bit scary but I feel that they are positive movements toward a more conscious and compassionate planet.
How is your life looking and feeling to you? What changes are you experiencing energetically when you check in or step back and take a closer look at your life? What are you noticing around you…in the people you love and see everyday?
Right now I find that whenever I am looking to “solidify” anything in my life, whether it be career, money, travel, relationships, ideas, plans… things do not seem to go well. It seems life is moving so fast, and things changing so rapidly, that to force anything becomes a waste of time and energy not to mention frustrating. Even if I begin to allow myself to indulge in a particular emotion for any amount of time there is a movement that does not support any kind of holding, clenching or controlling of the energy.
The great news is that when I step back and ‘let it go, let it flow’, miraculous things happen – and I mean truly miraculous. Situations appear that, if I had planned for months, would not have turned out as incredibly perfect as they did. New people show up and we feel as if we’ve been friends forever and suddenly life is full. But again, the moment I try to ‘over plan’ anything it falls apart. It seems I am being taught the fine line between being open to the Universe or being PUSHY with the Universe. As we’ve all heard before “In God’s time, not ours”. It’s a good saying but the truth is if we are all a part of God then all time is our time and we just need to tap into the higher energy of each moment/situation. The cool thing is that we can TUNE ourselves into the ‘GOD TIME’ within us simply by being present in this moment and acting from this place. Yes, it takes dedication and focus to pave that new road to JOY but how drained are most of us from all of the time and energy it takes to run AWAY from ourselves and this moment?
Could trusting the moment and staying connected to our higher source create a life more beautiful then we could have ever imagined? Could taking the time to learn to let go of the old ways of thinking, living and believing about life be the key to the happiness we’ve all been looking for? Perhaps that meditation or yoga class is not such a ridiculous or unworthy challenge after all.
Something else I see happening a lot now with me and many of my friends is the revisiting of old relationship dynamics. Just when I start feeling a bit smug about the deep spiritual work I’ve been doing, and how ‘Enlightened’ I’ve become, the Universe comes along to test that theory. True enough yes? : ) The good news is that when we are in the moment we can step back and see more clearly that we have a choice of how we engage in any given situation. I can choose to pick-up, or NOT pick-up, the other end of the rope in that old game of Tug-of-war in any old relationship dynamic. And guess what? When I’m not tugging on the rope (old fears and ego power struggles) the person on the other side of the rope has nothing to do but drop it. I love that. Those old emotional traps that caused so much suffering in the past can be released in one moment of clarity. A moment that can change your life forever. This is true magic! Heaven on Earth.
And just when I think that’s enough, and life begins to look “normal’ again, there is another door opening that looks too good to be true. Then, of course, the door of opportunity starts to close because of my momentary doubt that I am not deserving of such goodness. So, I say to myself, and the Universe, “Why not me?!?” and run towards the ‘Too Good To Be True’ door with all my might only to find the door getting further and further away each time I draw near. “Ah, I see! I must be STILL and let it come to me or else it dissapears all together. Ding Ding Ding Ding Ding! I get it. So I sit quietly and breath, aware, accepting and content. Not going left…not going right. Feeling like a Humming bird in flight yet flying in the same spot.
It’s pretty cool actually. I feel like I am being taught a different way of moving in the world…in the cosmos. A different way to move energy, thought… One that feels much more expansive, creative and exciting. It is a place where I am more aware of my connection to God and to all beings. This new way of living and walking my dreams forward does not involve force of any kind. No pushing, pulling or jumping up and down. I sit in the center of my being without running away from myself, staying with my own heart, feeling who I am and loving and accepting all of it. Letting go of judgment and fear, and with that release, gaining new energy to dream and create a happier more fulfilling existence.
This new energy connects me to the whole of LIFE in a very powerful and personal way. When there is no doubt that where I am at right now is exactly where I am supposed to be all the beauty around me becomes more evident. I can now sit in true gratitude for my life, and all existence, knowing with all of my being that I am safe, I am loved and this moment is perfect.
This continuous contentment, joy and trust of the moment brings me a feeling of Joy and Peace I had only ever hoped for. Joy begets Joy, Love begets Love, and Consciousness begets Consciousness.
Congratulations! We’ve created Heaven on Earth.
Love & Blessings,
Laura De León